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Episode:My Dinner with Anthrax
|image = |caption = Bud and Kelly with members of Anthrax at the Bundy house in "My Dinner with Anthrax" in Season 6 of MWC. |season = 6 |episode = 18 |overall = 123 |guests = Fred Willard Roger Rose Edd Byrnes Anthrax Frank Lloyd |network = FOX |production = 6.19 |writers = Larry Jacobson |directors = Gerry Cohen |taping = February 14, 1992 |airdate = February 23, 1992 |imdb = tt642332 |previous = "The Mystery of Skull Island" |next = "Psychic Avengers" |series = Married... with Children }} My Dinner With Anthrax is the 18th episode of season six of Married... with Children, also the 123rd overall episode in the series. Directed by Gerry Cohen and written by Larry Jacobson, the episode premiered on the FOX network, airing on February 23 1992. Synopsis Bud and Kelly trick Al and Peg into going on vacation in Florida for their 20th anniversary, because the kids have won the chance to have thrash metal band Anthrax over at their house. The vacation turns out to be a timeshare scam with Edd Byrnes as one of the tenants (who lives there only because it was offered to him for free). Things get interesting back home when the band members scavenge in the refrigerator and sample Peg's "mystery package" (that no one ever wants to try) and begin to hallucinate. Plot A visibly upset Peggy enters the house, followed by Al. She reprimands him for giving her a postcard on their 20th wedding anniversary. Al tries to defend his action, saying that since the gift for a 20th aniversary is fine china, he got her a postcard with a picture of China on it. He then points out that he have gotten her a free Chicago Bears mug with his fill up, but he felt that she deserved better and paid 5 cents for the postcard. Peg tells him that he is horrible at getting her gifts, noting that for their 15th wedding anniversary, he got her motor oil, but he points that its still in her car. She then tells him that what she wants this year won't cost him anything; that she wants to be made loved to, being held and caressed by Al, which frustrates and then scares him enough to reveal that he had hidden $100 away. He then tries to bribe Peg to get out of it, but she takes it and tells him no, continuing on: "I want some romance in my life, Al, and I'm not talking about the old thirty second 'crash 'n' burn'. Or the old twenty second 'bump and snore'. And I really don't want that old New Year's Eve 'ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, sorry, better luck next year!' ''" She then walks up the stairs, with Al following, begging and pleading with her that she has any feelings for him that she won't force him to make love to her, but his words go unnoticed by her. Bud and Kelly enter the house, excited to hear who won the "My Dinner With Anthrax" contest, but are shocked when they can't find the TV remote. They frantically dig through the couch, tossing out various items before Kelly finds a jar of Vaseline that Bud quickly takes and puts back in his pants. Feeling defeated, But then remembers that Al once told him that in the old days, people had to walk up to the television set to turn it on. Kelly doesn't believe it, but Bud tells it just might work. Hesistant, he leans over to press the button and to their astonishment, it turns on to the show they were waiting for. The announcer is then heard saying: '' "And now, the moment you've been waiting for. It's time to pick the winner of the Video Channel's "My Dinner With Anthrax" contest. Yes, and as you can see, the guys are pretty excited. band looks rather bored We pay for a party in your house, including dinner, for you and fifty of your closest friends. And Anthrax will rock your house off! Yeah! Right guys? Charlie Benante crushes a can over the VJ's head" Kelly says that she would die if they won the contest, while Bud nonchalantely notes that when they meet him as Grandmaster B, he would help Anthrax bring in more ladies. Kelly then calls him "Thigh master" and tries to ruin his fantasy, before he calls her a harlot and to be quite as they are going to annoucne the winner. The VJ then pulls out a card from the bin and reveals the winner as "Bud 'Grinchmaster B' Bundy". Bud hops around the couch, screaming out in joy that he won and that he will throw a party, but Kelly points out that his 50 friends will pretty much be grandma and his stuffed animals. He then points out that she is also invited, referring to her as his "favorite future welfare mother" before getting serious and trying to figure out how to get rid of their parents to make this party happen. Kelly agrees, noting how boring it would be with the parents around: "Yeah, they'd be great with Anthrax. Mom getting out her accordion and playing songs of her stinking youth. And Dad saying, ' Do any of you guys want to see my bathroom? The flush will suck your arm right down ' ". Bud then thinks that perhaps they would be willing to listen to reason, and as Al, looking depressed comes down the stairs, Bud tries to talk to him, but he tell him to go away. But eventually Bud gets him to stop before he heads out the door and asks if they have the party, but Al tells him no, saying: "Absolutely not. I have something very important to do that night, requires total silence. I can't get too technical, but it involves your Mother, our anniversary and me making love to her till I shrivel up and die. Now, you're too young to hear any more. Excuse me, I'm going to go outside and walk blindly in traffic." Sometime later, Jefferson is sitting next to Al, who is trying to catch his breath, on the Bundy couch, and asks him if he is ok. When Al nods yes, he then asks Al why he was sitting behind his car with the exhaust pipe in his mouth and Al struggles to tell him that Peggy wants him to make love to her. Jefferson jokes that perhaps she should be the one with the exhaust pipe in her mouth, but Al points out that she wants to be carressed and told how much she means to him, before pointing out that he's shivering and parts of him are starting to fail now. Jefferson tries to reassure him that that he can do this, noting that Wilt Chamberlin had claimed that he made loved to over 20,000 women, but Al points out that none of them was his wife. Jefferson keeps tryin g to reassure him, telling to first put on some music, then turn the lights low, slowly undress her and then in 8 hours he'll be done, but Al, suprised at the notion that he should be making love for 8 hours, causing him to break down in tears and asks Jefferson to hold him, which he does and tells him that its his own fault for being so desireable. Al realizes that he's right and decides that he needs to prepare by buying a copy of Big'uns and "a great big bottle of Dramamine for the she-sickness" Bud and Kelly come as Al leaves with Jefferson for the newstand and Bud tells Kelly that her suggestion of dropping a safe on their parents would kill them. But she defends her idea, pointing out that "It never killed Daffy, or Elmer, or that dog that's always after the Roadrunner". Bud then tries to figure out another way to get rid of them and Kelly points to an ad in the newspaper for a free vacation, but Bud dismisses it, saying its not really a free vacation, but a scam to get people to invest in time shares, where they constantly harasses you during your stay there in order to invest in their property, which causes him to re-think it and realize this would be perfect to tourture his parents. Al and Peggy, now dressed up in tropical weather clothing, arrive at their room in Florida. Peggy tells Al that "if it wasn't for the thousand degree heat, the flying palmetto bugs, and the smell of your frying feet, I'd think we were in Heaven". Al then grabs her and kisses her, before telling that he's done and calls for the bellboy. But Peggy stops him and points out that she wants the "whole enchilada" and "whole 4 yards", which Al tells her its 9 yards, but she questions him, asking if she really needs to get the ruler out again. Al finally agrees to do the deed with her, but tells her to first lay down on the bed as he needs to prepare. As she lays down, Al walks over to the corner table with a briefcase in hand and as he opens it, Bad to the Bone begins to play. Inside his case is a collections of Big'uns, along with an issue of Playpen and other nudie magainzes, that he takes out and looks at the centerfold in each issue, as Peggy looks on with a grin on her face and Al bobs his head up and down, in sync with the song. After he is done with the last issue, he looks into the camera and says "Let's Jam!" As Al makes his way to Peggy and gets on top of her, a man is heard clearing his throat and as Al and Peg look up, they see its a man, who introduces himself as Stan Mendelson or "Captain Scooter" and is setting up some displays to convince them to buy into Hurricane Hole, promising that it will be one of Florida's top resorts, before spraying a lizard off their wall. Peggy politely tells Stan that they are on their vacation and would like some privacy, but he tells her "How pathetic is that? You've got your job to do, and I've got mine, right?" and begins to show them a slideshow on his projector about what he expects the resort to look like by the year 3000. He then notices Al's Big 'Uns and tells them that he had a letter published in a previous issue. As he continues on, Al realizes that the kids tricked them and are probably having fun back at their home in Chicago, while they suffer in the heat with an annoying sales pitch. Meanwhile, back in Chicago, the kids, now with Anthrax in their living room are listening to the radio, which is announcing a signifcant snow storm, but the DJ seems confident that the party at Bud Bundy's house is amazing. Just then Kelly hangs up the phone, saying that the was the last guest and she can't make it due to being snowed in, like everyone else. Bassist Frank Bello mocks the band for wanting to be responible and arrive early and reassuring him that Buck won't pee on his bass gutiar, but gutiarist Scott Ian points out it wasn't the dog who did it and noting that Frank drank 2 six packs of malt liquor. Bud tries to break the tension by suggesting they play a game where the person says their name and then the name of animal with the same letter. Bud starts with "Bud...Bear" before gutiarist Dan Spitz says "Dan...Bite me". Just then, a knock on the door is heard and Marcy comes in, saying the band looks like a bunch of killers. As she introduces herself, Charlie refers to her as "Sir", and as she tries to correct them, they laugh at the notion that she is a woman, just as Dan points out that Bud is a rap star, Kelly is a genius and the band is happy to be there. Marcy tells them that the reason she is there is because Al and Peggy asked her to check on the kids to make sure they are alright, before she grabs Frank's knife and starts to give him a pat down and then smiles, saying how young and firm he feels. Kelly then points out to Marcy that they are a band and they had won them in a contest. She tries to convince them that she is still hip and told them that she used to run after the Monkees like every other girl back in her day. She then says she liked Peter because he was the shy guy in the group, and then asks the band who is the shy one as she flips out the blade from Frank's knife. Scott points out that he the guy with the hat in the band and then suggest that the group grab Marcy's shovel and dig a hole out of the house. As the guys try to get up, Bud interrupts them, pulling out the contract and points out that they owe him and Kelly a song first, but vocalist Joey Belladonna tells them that its suppose to be Dinner with Anthrax and that they won't play until they eat first. He then grabs Marcy and tells her: "And in case you were wondering, I'm the hungry one". Bud then suggest they can look in the refridgerator and they rush past him, while Marcy asks them if they know how to play "I'm A Believer". Joey notices how desolate it is in their refridgerator and then Charlie notices a Chia Pet, but Bud tells them that it actually is leftover meatloaf. He then grabs a foil pack say that its "Mom's aluminum foil wrapped mystery pack" which the band grabs immediately and starts to eat. Bud and Kelly look on in amazement, as Bud points out that even Al wouldn't touch it and says the band is cool now. The band has various reactions to the food, such as the food biting them, feeling extremely hot or seeing 50 people. They finally agree to play a song now, playing In My World which cause everyone in the room to go crazy and smash various objects and destroy the living room. Back in Florida, Stan shows them a model of Hurricane Hole and asks Al to try what it would feel like to live there and Al plays with a toy car, pretending to drive it up to their new house. Peg, now more frustrated, tells Stan that the very least he could do for them is to give them a few seconds alone to have sex, but he tells her that he wants to play his trump card and tells them that if they do buy the property, their celebrity neighbor will be Edd "Kookie" Byrnes. Edd comes in with a recorder playing his song "Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)" and then gives the Bundys combs. Stan tries to get Edd to convince them to buy the property, but Edd quickly points out that he gave it to him for free. Stan tells them that it would only be $6 dollars down, but Al says he doesn't have that kind of money. Stan laughs at that notion, saying even Edd could afford, but Peggy tells him that Al sells shoes, which cause Stan to become cold and tell them to get out before dawn as he grabs his promotional material. Peggy then gets excited that she got to meet Edd "Kookie" Byrnes and receive his comb and suggests they have sex on top of the combs, but Al tries to stop her, saying Edd stole his copies of Big'uns and he needs them. She then mounts him and demands sex, as Al tries to plead with Edd saying "Kookie, Kookie, lend me my Big'uns!" Back at the Bundy house, Al examines the damage that the band caused. Al then tries to shame the kids for the damage they did while he had to suffer in the Florida swamps having sex with Peggy and says he never wants to go back to either one of them. Peg tries to reassure Al that they did their best. Bud and Kelly apologize to them and wish them a happy anniversary and if they had brought anything back for them. Al says that since they didn't have much money, they brought back the only thing they could afford, which turns out to be Edd "Kookie Byrnes, who then comes in and gives the kids some combs and then tells them that he'll be back with their luggage. Al then asks the kids who are the guys outside on the stoop. Kelly tells him that its the band Anthrax and that because they ate Peggy's mystery pack, the Environemental Protection Agency is quarentining them to the Bundy house for the next 6 months. Surprised at this, Al then asks what is going to be hearing for the next 6 months, before the band is shown doing an a Capella rendition of "Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)" with Edd "Kookie" Byrnes. Trivia *The title of this episode is a reference to the 1981 film, My Dinner With Andre, as well as presumably "My Breakfast with Blassie". *The band, Anthrax, make a guest appearance as themselves, in what is commonly referred to as the "classic" lineup or the "Joey Belladonna era" which lasted from 1984 until 1992. This line up would breakup shortly after the airing of the episode, but reunited for a tour in 2005. *The idea of Anthrax coming to the Bundy's house after winning a contest was actually inspired from a real life contest that happened on MTV in 1989, where a girl won and Anthrax came to her house and trashed it, along with a new car that was to be presented to her. *The members of Anthrax eat Peggy's Mystery pack, which had been previously mentioned in season 4's A Taxing Problem. *Dramamine is a brand name product of Dimenhydrinate, an over the counter drug used to treat motion sickness and nausea. *The Monkees was a music group, originally formed during the height of The Beatles popularity in the 1960s, as a group of actors pretending to be in a band on a television show of the same name, but eventually they became a real band and performed to much acclaim, with songs such as "I'm a Believer" (which Marcy requests the band play) and "Daydream Believer". *Marcy makes a reference to Peter Tork, the bassist for The Monkees and claimed to like him for being the shy member in the band. *Wilt Chamberlin was a NBA basketball player (and later on, volleyball player), who, as Jefferson pointed in the episode, made the claim that he had slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime, never marrying or having children, and remained a lifelong bachelor until his death in 1999. *Edd Hall, former announcer for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, makes another voice over appearance on MWC as the radio announcer who mentions the heavy snow storm in Chicago. *Fred Willard, an actor best known for his comedic roles in various shows and movies, including Modern Family (which stars Ed O'Neill), King of the Hill, Best In Show and Anchorman, plays Stan Mendelson in this episode. *Edd "Kookie" Byrnes, an actor known for his role on the tv series 77 Sunset Strip and being known as television's first teen idol, plays himself in this episode. His career had come to an end by the time he was 30 years old, leaving him broke and addicted to drugs and alcohol and this episode plays on that fact. *Anthrax were fans of MWC before appearing in the show -- there is a poster from the late '80s wherein Scott Ian is wearing a shirt with the MWC logo on it. *The band originally wanted to appear on the Simpsons, another series they liked, with an employee and future head of their label Megaforce contantly contacting Fox to make this happen. Eventually, they were told the producers of MWC needed a metal band in an episode and asked if they would like to be on the show. Being aforementioned fans of the show (and according to Scott Ian, having encountered the cast at a charity softball game prior) and excited by this proposal, they gladly accepted it. *Scott Ian, the frontman of Anthrax, has said there was meant to be a scene in which Kelly led him upstairs to have sex, and admitted to being excited about the prospect but Scott found out at a table read a short time later the scene was edited out of the script at the request of Christina Applegate, who reportedly said: "I know my character's a slut, but not that much of a slut." Goofs *As indicated in this episode, Al and Peggy had been married for 20 years at this point in time, meaning that they were married on or around the 30th day of a month in 1972. Though this would conflict with season one, where, in 1987, Peg and Al said they have been married for 16 years (Sixteen Years and What Do You Get) on the 23rd of a month (as mentioned in The Poker Game later that season), meaning that 1992 would actually make it their 21st anniversary. In that epsiode, Al gives Peggy some motor oil for their 16th anniversary. Peggy mentions that in this episode, but says he gave her motor oil on their 15th anniversary instead. *Bud asks to have the party on the 30th, but as this episode was filmed in February, and February doesn't have 30 calendar days, that would possible mean that they are in the month of January. *When Al is looking through his magazines, the issues of Playpen and another issue that is partially titled "Boud..", can be seen when he opens the case, but mysteriously disappear during the rest of the scene, without Al ever having a chance to read them. *When Edd 'Kookie' Byrnes walks into Al and Peg's room, there is one magazine placed back in the briefcase and the rest are on the floor, yet when Edd and Stan are leaving, the magazines that were on the floor are now back in the briefcase. *While the band is playing in the Bundy living room, it is obvious that they are playing over a recorded track, as the band begins to stop playing briefly to smash things with their instruments and then kick over the drum set, yet the music is still playing without a single change to the sound that would have otherwise happened if this were to take place in a live setting. *When Al examines the damage that the band has down to the living room, a guitar is shown sticking out through the wall, though it is obviously not any of the guitars that the band brought, as the one shown in the wall is a Fender Stratocaster, yet Scott Ian was playing his custom Jackson Soloist guitar and Dan Spitz was playing a Jackson Randy Rhoads guitar. *When Al and Peggy return from Florida, the snow is almost gone if you look in the backyard and the front stoop as well. Yet, the day before (assuming that Al and Peg left Florida in the morning as Stan told them to leave the resort by dawn), the area was covered in a massive amount of snow that blocked the backdoor and front as well, requiring Marcy to dig through to get to the Bundy house. This would be rather impossible, unless the weather suddenly went from a winter blizzard to a summer scorcher hot enough to melt a significant amount of snow in a few hours and not cause any flooding or leave any water behind. *Scott Ian knocks down a black trophy with his guitar as he swings it araound. A scene later, that very trophy is back on the stand, laying down, but then Marcy comes by and slams it on the ground. *When Al introduces Kookie to the kids as the only thing Al and Peg could afford in Florida, if you look at the wall where the guitar is sticking out, the guitar's neck is sticking out through a perfectly clean cut rectangle. *After Marcy throws the trophy on the ground, she is showning jumping around with nothing behind her. When the camera shows her again a few seconds later, one of the musician's mic stand is now directly behind her as she continues to jump around. When the camera shows everyone in the Bundy living room before transitioning to the next scene, the mic stand is no longer there. Recurring cast/Guest stars ;Cast Regulars : *Amanda Bearse as Marcy D'Arcy *Ted McGinley as Jefferson D'Arcy *Buck the Dog as Buck Bundy Guest starring *Fred Willard as Stan *Roger Rose as VJ *Edd Byrnes as Himself *Edd Hall as Radio DJ (as Ed Hall) *Anthrax as Themselves Category:Season 6 Category:MWC Episodes Category:Episodes Category:Full plot model